Sparrow down, do you have people on the outside, besides us here, who you can talk with or get support from?
I hope you have good friends or any extended family on the outside..?
I admire your taking a stand and wanting to be done with hiding who you are! I know how hard that is, and you always hope for the best. May God, or the universe, or whatever energies exist, or quantum particles that somehow attract things to us, or frequencies, or telepathic manipulation of aliens (threw that last one in there for the heck of it, lol, and to see if you were paying attention! :) ) -- bless you.